boy’s devil radar.

It’s always hard to see young girl’s tweets and facebook posts that are sad and broken hearted. i wish they would talk to me about it. but then again, they don’t know me like that, right? right, they don’t know me well enough to know that i’ll talk to anyone who would like to talk to me about anything. drama, break ups, fights with your best friends, family trouble, etc. I’ve been through all of that. and maybe some stuff i haven’t been through, but i always try to look on the positive side of things. in high school i got into the fights with my best friends (and some not-so-best friends), I’ve been through break ups, I’ve been the “other girl” in the love triangle, i’ve dated boys who my parents never approved of, i’ve dated assholes. drama followed me around like a puppy. i do have the best family in the world, but we’re not perfect. when i was a freshman and sophomore i had planned several times to run away. my mom shut the back door in my face one time because I wanted to go out that night and she wouldn’t let me. (I was very immature and rebellious my first two years in high school.)


if you talk to me about your problems, i WILL listen. sometimes i even get calls from people who don’t want to be here anymore. i feel privileged that people trust me enough to talk to me about it. it is scary as hell, but i can’t start freaking out on them when they’re freaking out. haha i calmly tell them WHY they should be here, WHO is here that would miss them, and vice versa, and any other reason why they’re lucky to be alive. i can’t relate to them because i have never wanted to take my life, but a few people who are close to my heart have either tried or thought about it. as well as a classmate of mine took his life last year. i can’t help but feel like there was something I could’ve done, like talk to him more or something. the last conversation we had was at a home football game a few months before and i asked him how he was doing with his reply being “just peachy, what about yourself?” and i repled with “oh, just appley.” and he gave me this look like i was a weirdo. but then we laughed about it and said bye to each other. i wasn’t as close to him as a lot of people were, but that doesn’t mean i don’t miss his hilarious fb posts/shares or his sarcasm that hit the right spot when you needed it.


ANYWAYS, this wasn’t supposed to be a sad blog. but like i was saying…



if a boy has decided he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore, IT IS OKAY! i know what you’re thinking…”but you don’t know! our story is different!” well, i can’t argue with that second statement. yes, every story is different because no two people’s relationship is the same as another’s. but 95% of the time, in this kind of scenario, they all end up the same. heartbroken girl, and boy who has already moved on. eventually they come back to you, just to have you remind you of them because they know you’re about to forget about them…then those feelings come back and you don’t hear from them until you forget about them again. it’s like they have a radar that tells them “Boy she’s about to forget about you again, you better text her!” FREAKIN DEVIL RADAR !

it’s happened with a few different guys for me. one of them still had his girlfriend. he had called me a few months after not talking to him and i had been talking to another guy, he was drunk so i called his girlfriend and told her. turns out she had been looking for him for hours. i never got a thank you, but i heard he got yelled at, so that’s good enough for me. haha! the next time was prom my junior year, he had called a guy’s phone that we were all with and asked to talk to me. how he knew i was with him? i have no clue. nonetheless, i talked to him the rest of the night. feelings came rushing back and i hadn’t heard from him until the next year, talked to him for a long time and then a few lies came up so i ignored him and he got a girlfriend. he then asks me if i was sure i didn’t even want to be friends with him. well of course i was sure. now he’s engaged to this girl and is having her baby. COOL right? lol absolutely. kudos for him stepping up. i just wish he’d stop trying to add me on facebook.


ANYWAYS. sorry for my short rant.

dammit. i can’t even think now of what i was going to blog.


but i mean, you get the point. i’m like a social butterfly, ask me questions, you’ll get answers. they might not be what you wanted to hear, but hey…the truth saves you in the end.


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